Confidence Killers

When fear holds you back from social success

Confidence was in every step, when Bridget (from the popular film Bridget Jones Diary) sauntered down the country lane in her fancy dress costume, ready for the party. Each step, each hip sauntering sway, took her closer to that first glass of champagne. And she was feeling fabulous.

Halfway down the driveway, she caught sight of someone. In dull muted colours, looking rather ordinary. Sigh, what party poopers avoiding the theme. Then she caught sight of another. Then another, then another. Then the moment. When fear stabs your gut and inflames the veins. The joy sags and suddenly it’s only terror. Nothing about the terror.

OH NO. You’re the only person in fancy dress. And you HAD.TO.WEAR.THE.BUNNY.SUIT!!!


One of the most hilarious scenes in the movie, and could it also be true for how you can feel when trying to build an online brand? It can be terrifying putting yourself out there.

Perhaps you’ve been there. You’ve written up a post to go on LinkedIn. You’ve read it, re-read it. Added a picture. And just about ready to hit send when it happens. That stab of fear as your confidence is killed. The terror! The lurking thought… “What will people think of me?!”

What-will-people-think-of-me syndrome

If you’ve ever felt this way, then you’re not alone. The last year I’ve worked with over 1,000 business owners and entrepreneurs around Australia and every time I would present about how to create a stand-out online brand, I would invariably have someone come up to me and say:

  • I want to do it, but i think “What will people think of me”?
  • Why would they want to listen to me?
  • Who am I to say these things?
  • What do I know?

I think these confidence killers are up there with the imposter syndrome. Both are trying to tell you that you don’t/shouldn’t/mustn’t/couldn’t, and both stem from fear and self-doubt rather than reality.

The Stand Out Effect with Yu Dan Shi

When Corporate executive Yu Dan Shi suddenly quit her corporate job, it was shocking and unexpected. Ten years later, Yu Dan wrote a real and raw blog about the experience and it was terrifying for her. And yet… the global response of the “yes, me too” was overwhelming and inspiring.

For the first interview of The Stand Out Effect I interviewed good friend and amazing Executive Business Mentor Yu Dan Shi on her experience of Standing out, without Selling Out. You can watch the short video below, and if you enjoyed this short video, you can tune in for the full 20 min interview here.


What’s the worst thing that could happen?

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. McIntyre

So what’s being lost from you not sharing your ideas, articles and creative concepts with the world?

What if you could:

  • Share ideas on a topic you’re passionate about?
  • Serve your clients and audience with something that helps them?
  • Attract an interested client who wants to work with you?

Wouldn’t that be helpful? If your focus was high quality, useful, relevant, and engaging social content about things that matter to your clients; then you’re on the right track. In fact, you could be missing an opportunity by holding back.

The world needs more of what you have to offer, and you’ll never know unless you try.

Overcoming Confidence Killers

Here are three points to remind yourself the next time you experience one of those confidence killers.

  1. Remember your Why

Why are you doing this in the first place? What was the original motivator for what you’re doing? Was it a passion? To help? Write it down somewhere to remind yourself.

  1. Be available to serve

What if you changed your mental frame to one of service? It’s not about performance; it’s about how you’re helping your audience. Showing up to serve, feels less intimidating then trying to be perfect all the time.

  1. Don’t over think it

Sometimes what keeps you in a fearful fuss is striving for perfection. I LOVE this quote from Brooke Castillo from The Lifecoach school who said your “B-minus work can change people’s lives. Work that you don’t produce at all (you’re a+ work), does nothing in the world.”



Kirryn Zerna is a keynote speaker, masterclass presenter and advisor. Her passion is to help businesses and leaders to stand out, without selling out, in this age of online influence. Known for her work in brand communication, strategy and future trends, what’s unique about Kirryn is her broad experience across sectors. She draws on over 15 years experience working with businesses of all sizes – from corporate, government, consulting agencies, small business and high profile individuals.